Anxiety, Panic, and the Hidden Wounds of Childhood

How Past Experiences Shape Our Present Struggles — And What You Can Do About It

Anxiety and Panic have almost become buzz words, it can feel as if everyone one has triggers and the world must address its behavior to accommodate that the individual is experiencing an anxiety evoking moment. Lets address this, yes you are not responsible for how a person reacts, that is not your responsibility. What you are responsible for is what you say and how you say it and if you choose to approach someone who is experiencing an anxiety evoking moment with compassion helping them re-regulate or dismiss their feelings and tell them their feelings aren’t real or relevant.

I urge you to remember that “compassion feeds connection, judgment drives dis-connection”. Think on that a moment.

We’ve all felt it: that sudden rush of dread, a racing heart, or the paralyzing fear that something terrible is about to happen, and its normal to seek connection in those moments. For many, anxiety and panic aren’t just fleeting moments but for others they’re overwhelming forces that feel impossible to escape. But what if these struggles are rooted in experiences far older than we realize? Experts like John Bradshaw, Gabor Maté, and Brené Brown suggest that childhood trauma, even subtle or forgotten, can cast a long shadow into adulthood. Let’s explore this connection and share tools to find relief.

The Link Between Childhood and Anxiety

Imagine a child who grows up feeling unheard or unsafe. Maybe their emotions were dismissed (“Stop crying!”), or they learned to hide their needs to avoid conflict. Over time, this child internalizes a message: “My feelings don’t matter”* or *“I’m not safe.”. Fast-forward to adulthood, and those buried emotions might resurface as anxiety or panic attacks in situations that unconsciously remind them of past pain.

John Bradshaw, a pioneer in inner child therapy, explains that unmet childhood needs create a “wounded inner child.” This part of us holds unresolved grief, shame, or fear, which can trigger anxiety when activated by stress or triggers like criticism or abandonment .

Dr. Gabor Maté adds that trauma isn’t just about dramatic events, it’s also the ‘absence’ of nurturing. For example, a child with emotionally distant parents might grow up feeling chronically insecure, leading to panic attacks in relationships or work settings .

Brené Brown, renowned for her research on vulnerability and shame, emphasizes that childhood experiences of shame or humiliation (what she calls “Little T traumas”) can embed deep-seated beliefs like ‘I’m not enough’. These beliefs fuel anxiety by keeping us hypervigilant to rejection or failure, even in safe environments.

For Example: Sarah freezes during team meetings at work. She later realizes it’s tied to childhood memories of being ridiculed by her siblings. Her body reacts as if she’s still that 8 years old, even though she’s safe now.

Brené Brown’s work on shame resilience reminds us that acknowledging these stories and practicing self-compassion can loosen their grip .

Tools to Calm Anxiety in the Moment

When panic strikes, these strategies can help you regain control:

• Breathe Like You’re Blowing Up a Balloon - Slow, deep breaths signal safety to your brain. Try the ‘4-7-8’ method: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This reduces hyperventilation and calms your nervous system .

• Ground Yourself with the ‘5-4-3-2-1’ Technique - Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. This shifts focus away from panic and into the present .

• Talk to Your Inner Child - Bradshaw’s work encourages writing a letter to your younger self. For example: “I see how scared you felt. You’re safe now.”. Brené Brown’s concept of “wholeheartedness” aligns here by embracing vulnerability by honoring your story without judgment .

• Challenge Negative Beliefs - Maté’s ‘Compassionate Inquiry’ asks: “What am I feeling, and where does this come from?” If you think, “I’m not good enough,” trace it back. Did a parent’s high expectations make you feel unworthy? Understanding the root softens its grip .

• Move Your Body - A brisk walk or even shaking out your limbs releases trapped adrenaline. Exercise also boosts mood-lifting endorphins .

Long-Term Healing Starts with Awareness

While quick fixes help in the moment, lasting peace requires addressing deeper wounds:

• Inner Child Work like Bradshaw’s ‘Homecoming’ guides readers to reconnect with their younger selves through meditations and journaling, helping to heal old scars . Brené Brown’s emphasis on ‘story stewardship’ and owning your narrative without letting it define you complements this process.

• Re-parenting Yourself: Maté suggests creating routines that nurture you now, like setting boundaries or practicing self-compassion to replace what you lacked as a child . Brown’s research on cultivating resilience through connection (“we heal in community”) underscores the power of seeking support .

• Holistic Approaches such as Integrate mindfulness, nutrition, and seeking a therapist that’s right for you can help regulate trauma responses .

You’re Not Broken - You’re Adapting

Anxiety and panic are often the body’s way of saying, “Hey, there’s old pain here that needs attention”. By understanding the echoes of your past, you can respond with kindness instead of fear. As Bradshaw wrote: “Healing begins when we listen to the child within”. Brené Brown adds: “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

Next time panic hits: Pause, breathe, and remind yourself: This is my body remembering. I am safe now.

With time and practice, you can rewrite the story.

For further reading, explore

John Bradshaws - Homecoming: Reclaiming Your Inner Child.

Dr. Gabor Maté’s - The Myth of Normal

Brené Brown’s - The Gifts of Imperfection.

This blog is my personal reflections upon my training and in no way should be used as a guide to ‘healing”

Always consult a with a healthcare professional for personalized guidance.